Am I Hopeless A Girl On The Bus I Never Knew

i really liked this girl i thought she was really nice and very pretty brunette girl who used to go on my bus, everytime i would go home..i think she liked me too but i was too stuck in my own past of being a loser to ever make a move, plus i was very shy i always am have a problem talking to girls really.
she was nice she always used to carry an art folder and sat at the back.

on a few occasions i even sat next too her, man what a fool..i was like i must talk to her i must talk to her but i just was like about what i dont even know her..i think she liked me but i was too much of a coward.

man that used to tear me up i used to get off the bus wondering if she liked me or noticed and feeling really angry at myself for not saying something.damn argh why didnt i say something..angry

i know this sounds strange but i always used to listen into her conversations with her friends i know i shouldnt but i couldnt help it

tall brunette who was gorgous.. well ill never know because it was like that for a year then another year past and i didnt see her so much rarely heard she got a boy friend suppose what u expect i never made me move wow two years. but now i dont live there anymore and i never see her.frown 
i mean i was too afraid of rejection it was nice sitting next to her but would of been nice too talk..why?!

i always had this fantasy of us together i was studying music then so i thought id be this musican and she be artist..sad but thats life..id show her art ive done..

i used to think about her alot for a year after..dont know what she's doing now or what, but when i looked at particular girl im reminded of her..

goldfishy goldfishy
18-21, M
2 Responses Jul 30, 2010

I totally understand man. I've had just that sort of experience myself. It's such an awful, self-hating feeling to know that you couldn't even muster the strength to say *something*. <br />
The truth is, I still struggle in this manner, but I do have some advice for you: <br />
Either accept that it will always be this way, or make a concerted effort to change. Yes, change yourself, your very core. Both are painful, and no, there is no third option. If you choose option 1, you'll always live with that kind of pain. And if you choose option 2, there will be some pain and panic for a while, but then it will pass and you can find that happiness you need.

Oh, im so sorry. Its very unlike me right now, because usually i have rallying words to make people feel better, but now all I can do is feel your pain and imagine how horrible you must feel. For the future, be sure to take a chance, or else you will never know what almost was. i learned that and I took my chance. It got me one year of extreme joy, almost one year of misery, and now a continuing sense of indifference. *pats you on the back* sorry kid. if you know her name maybe you could look her up to call her! If you do find her, be sure to tell her about when yall were on the bus. As a girl I know it would mean a lot.