My Own Worst Enemy

Is it...possible to break your own heart?  I sort of feel like I did.  It took me 20 years to learn to love myself and that I was worth something.  I wanted to get through life for the first time.  I felt strong. It. was. amazing.

Then I went abroad for a semester.  A lot of old feelings and confusion and awful habits came back.  At first, I tried really hard to come out of it.  But, a couple months in, I sort of reached a tipping point and went in the wrong direction and became LITERALLY helpless.  I'm surprised I didn't kill myself.  Long story short, I pretty much ruined the semester for myself and I'm back at square one.  And I knew better.  I've never felt more empty in my life.

Slowly taking steps though.

maude maude
22-25, F
5 Responses Jun 11, 2007

Hey do not forget: you are one in a million species.<br />
you are able to love yourself, your people, the earth, the universe.<br />
set yourself free and be a better person.<br />

Hope you love yourself daily. I'm just starting to forgive myself for my stupid actions. But everyday is a new day and full of hope.

i was surprise not many people responded to the story b cause u keep hearing about so much heartache and pain from people breaking our hearts.

i am slowly getting around to loving myself. All these years I thought I did until i realize i had subjected myself to some emotional abuse from a loser i could not shake myself from. i am rediscoving myself and kinda loving it just need some moral support.

I hope you are doing better now :)))) keep smiling