Down the Hatch!!!

Where do I begin? A few years ago this would have seemed like nothing to me, but I haven't partied in over a year. Though my tolerence was a lot higher than I had expected! First we stopped of and ate Mexican, at which point I tried a Margarita. I hate Tequila and ended up giving it to my friend. After we got something in our bellies we popped into a bar for a few drinks. While we're wrapped up in a game of pool sipping our beers, the "Jagermeister Girls" show up. Oh DAMN! Bring on the Jager bombers!!! We commensed to taking shots to recieve free gifts.(oh how easily drunk people can be bribed!) By the time we walked out of the bar we each had a necklace, a blinking light, a key chain, and I had a shirt and a hat to go along with the rest! Onward to the next pit stop. A dance club. I don't dance unless I'm drunk, then I really shouldn't dance!!! All night I was drinking Malibu rum with Melon Madness and pineapple mixed with it. And every once in a while I would get a hold of a bartender who was a drunk as I was and he'd mix watermelon pucker with it instead of the M.M. But, in between my steady drink I was having shots of Velvet Hammers. OMG, those are like ******* in your mouth!!!YUM YUM. Along with those drinks I had a **** load of jello shots. EEEwwwee, then I had my B-day shot glass glass (you know the one that says "Finally 21") filled with something that I don't even want to know what it was. At one point though, my b-day was announced to club and was go on stage! Me and 3 others are sitting on the stage when I hear " My mind is tellin me no, but my body, my body is tellin me yes!!!" Oh hell NO!!! Yep, about 10 girls file on the stage and proceed to give us all lap dances (fully clothed thank God). All was fine until one of the girls came up and said " scoot back, spread your legs, and keep your hands down" ( Oh dear lord what is she thinking). She sticks her head in my crotch and flips up backwards and puts her butt in my face!!! I know because her pants gave me chin burn! I was in complete and utter shock, not to mention at this point my motor skills were lagging behind otherwise she would've been in the floor. Meanwhile, my friends are at the edge of the stage laughing their ***** off. Thanks guys!!! Well about an hour before closing time we're ready to leave and a girl I know who works there decided to give me a departing shot ( more like a "so long sucker" shot) I took and thought I was dieing. After I found out what was in it I really should have died. There's a name for it and needless to say I can't remember what they said it was. But it had Jack Daniels, jim Beam, Jose, Wild Turkey, and Goldslager in it. On the ride home it hits me. Pull this car over NOW!!! Up comes the chimimchanga that tasted so good going down. After that 20min epesode we managed to get home. Here's where the real fun began. We get in the house and my DD says she's gonna use the r-room before leaving. I run in my bed room and before I could get changed, the feeling hits again! And she's still in the r-room. So its kitchen sink here I come! There I am in my tank top, underwear, and socks throwing my guts up. It was a pretty picture let me tell ya! I guess that woke my fiance up and he comes running in there to help me out. After my friend left my fiance had to undress me the rest of the way and give me bath. In the middle of it he tells me " Wow your trashed, but your hair looks nice." Gee thanks a heap!! I told him I wanted to brush my teeth soooo bad. So he fixes my tooth brush and I brush and brush and brush and afterwards, drunk me, spit in my bath water!! I kept telling to just drain the water and leave me, but no he insisted on giving me a shower and washing the used toothpaste off me and washing the nasty smell out of my hair before clothing me and putting me bed.He tried feeding me a stale cracker that almost made me throw up again!!!! The next I woke up to a "Happy Easter Honey"!!!
Luci Luci
22-25, F
Apr 11, 2007