I Should Have Died!

I started drinking and dipping and experimenting with drugs at 6 years old. I did it to take away pain i didn't know how to deal with. when i was 10 I became an alcoholic and shortly after i became addicted to extacy. I quit for awhile when i was 15 you could contribute me to 22 of my friends deaths. I got bad again i didn't go a day without being drunk. Everyday of highschool i was drunk, when i did drugs i did acid and extacy i skipped easier thing. I have messed my life up and no one should ever go through what i have in my life. I broke down i have no one to actually  talk to. I feel alone in this world my girlfriend recently broke up with me i took her bk, she wanted me bk because one of my friends road with me and its a girl. Now she dont seem the same it tears me apart but cant make her realize. Everything i do is for her to make her happy she just blows me off. I got my eigth case of alcohol poisening after she broke up with me. I done everything for her we were great together and she helped me. I stoped everything she truly made me happy in life for once. When we broke up i turned right back to what i know takes the pain away. It hurts me more though because I know im better then that. Through everything iv done i should be dead. I wish i was as strong as i was now im weak and, The emotional pain hurts me and i cant take it. I dont know how to deal with it will end up to my death and it doesnt look far away.
Theonlythingisher Theonlythingisher
18-21, M
Aug 1, 2011