I love my pain, my sorrow.  Even when everything around me is going well, I MAKE myself depressed.  I don't deserve to be happy. 

moonlit1 moonlit1
22-25, F
4 Responses Feb 9, 2009

I get it, but depression can be a real difficult thing. Many of us have been disappointed when something has not gone our way, and we fear failure or rejection. To be in this perpetual state is "safe", but extremely sad and stressful. We are never truly at peace with our lives and what is going around us. I wish i could say i have mastered this, but i can't. I still struggle even though i have a great life full of the things that matter most (family, friends, good physical health). Liar is pretty harsh. You pretty much have to experience what goes on in a depressed mind to appreciate how awful it can be. The cloud that exists is sometimes unbearable. God has helped me to find much of the peace i do experience and without him and some of the great people he has surrounded me. It would be far more difficult without them.

YOU ARE A LIAR. You lie to yourself when you say you do not deserve to be happy. It is everyones right to be happy. Life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness is what is written in the U>S> constitution. Did you notice that it is the PURSUIT of happiness, not happiness itself. In other words it is up to you! Do not lie to me or to yourself any longer. If you want to message me all the time, feel free. I willt try to steer you toward happiess. I can't make you happy, but I can point the way. Take care and stop all this lying.

Do you truly love your pain and sorrow or are you afraid to be in a state of happiness in case it is snatched away? I can kind of relate from past experiences but I now live in the moment and enjoy the happiness

Oh, man. Come on. There is nothing romantic about being depressed or unhappy. Grab happiness wherever you can. Someday some tragic **** is going to happen to you, something that you have no control over and then you'll see how silly it was of you to create unhappiness for yourself.