My husband and I were coworkers. At first, I had little interest in him. He kept bugging me and I realized I really liked this guy.
I wasn't looking for anything at the time, but you know what they say - when you're not looking, it'll come to you.
Basically, I fell head over heels for him.
We exchanged phone numbers. He asked me out on a date, and then bailed at the last minute. I waited for him to reschedule, and he never did. About a month went by, and I couldn't stop thinking about him. So I got in touch with him one day and we finally met up.
Things went pretty good. Good enough that we shared a kiss and I got that butterflies in my tummy feeling again. I hadn't felt that since high school.
Well, things went sour as we spent more time together. He made plans and never followed through, he'd have sex with me and ask me to leave, he was constantly lying to me... a lot of things were wrong. For some reason, I couldn't leave. The red flags that I had promised myself I'd pay attention to if I was ever in a bad relationship again just didn't phase me.
Slowly, things got a bit better. Not perfect, but what is, I always thought to myself.
We were together for about two years when he proposed.
It was a terrible proposal, with no special words behind it. But I thought I had to say yes, so I did.
At that moment, I was happy. We had a good little while after that.
Then things started to go sour again, as usual.
Our wedding came. It was also a disaster. Not because anything was wrong, I loved everything about it, except his family. They ruined it for me.
Now, I know, a lot of people don't get along with their in-laws. Mine though, are very different. My husband's father is abusive, he has been to jail twice for hitting his ex-wife and his kids, and he's even been verbally abusive to me. He is a bad man. He has killed animals on purpose, he has hired someone to kill family members, just... I know. It sounds unreal.
My husband's mother is just severely rude and very mean. I try to get along with her to this day, but it is so difficult for me.
My husband's brother is a complete *******. He has done his fair share, but has even gone as far as grabbing my *** and laughing about it to my husband's face.
Also, his father and mother were cousins. So are his father and his girlfriend.
The whole family is really messed up. They've ruined a lot for my husband and I. I put a lot of blame on them, but have lately started blaming my husband as he never stands up for himself, myself, or my family.
I am currently pregnant, and things have been hitting me hard mentally. I realize now that everything was such a mistake. Getting married alone was a mistake, but getting pregnant is now reminding me what an idiot I have been. Now, even if I wanted to get out of this, I feel like there is no hope because our child will be involved with this family no matter what I say.
I have grown depressed very slowly. Some days are better than others, but I am not happy and I can admit that.
I am completely alone.
vadastone vadastone
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 27, 2014

I read your story and I can relate so much. From the regret to the in laws, to being pregnant and feeling completely alone. It's consuming! Dont stress yourself or that baby, you owe yourself that. I'm always hopeful things can be mended before giving up, even for myself, I pray that for your marriage and new baby.

you are loved, you are someone special and you are someone important in this world, god sees and knows it all, and hes there for you, he longs for you to fill your life and heart with healing and comfort and protection and hewill give you someone who will really love you