It only took 7 days. SEVEN days for all of it start going to hell.

So, she and I had been dating off and on for quite a while. She had other boyfriedns, I had other girlfriends. I thought that in my life, no one made me as happy and as angry before. I looked at this as a good thing. It meant that there was passion and a chemistry there that couldn't be broken.

She moved in a month before we got married. At this point, we spent an entire week together. 24 hours a day, for seven full days. I felt like I wanted to spread my wings a little bit and go work out with some friends, told her I'd be back in a few hours, and the waterworks and attitude began. I was "being insensitive". Started going all down hill after that. I work, exercise and spend time with her, and she says that I'm not spending enough time paying attention to her.

So, I want to make it work. I ask what she needs. She says all I want to do is go work out. I tell her, "yea, I would work out everyday if I could. But since you're here now, I'll cut my work outs in half. I'll change from working out four times a week, to two times a week."

You know what happened? She wasn't satisfied with that...

She says that we go on dates, but we should plan the dates and not just go. She wants to feel that I sit aside time for her. Now remember, she is one of only three things that I spend time paying attention to. She wants me to specially plan the time that we spend together.

...okay, I'll bite. We plan dates every other week. You know what she says now? "When we go out, I act like I don't like her."

So, all this time, I never get any "thank you" or recognition for what I'm trying to do. Everything is just what I'm not giving her, what I'm not doing.

Now, I had this problem before we were married, but I was kind of a jerk when we were growing up together, dating different girls, still trying to get her while I'm messing with other chicks. She forgave me and I eventually got my stuff together. I thought that it was because I created all kinds of bad stuff in our relationship before. I thought that I just wasn't affectionate enough or loving enough. She always wanted more attention, more affection, more love from me. Now get me wrong, I love to please, however, I also need my time and my space.

So, maybe I'm not right for this marriage thing. Cause I definitely regret getting into it at this point. I'm always in trouble, always need to give more. Too much. Possibly I'm too selfish for this crap. But at this point, I'm kinda over it. I'd be better off by myself.
cheerfulgiver83 cheerfulgiver83
36-40, M
2 Responses Mar 7, 2014

In my experience you can never satisfy someone like this. The more you do the more demands are placed.

you sound cold dude, and you sound very unsure. That's not a good thing when you're married to someone. You need to put your foot down and demand clear answers. You guys don't seem to be good at communicating effectively. Tell her, I want to workout this many days a week, that's my time and it's not your choice. Time to be an adult