I Try To Stay Strong

I was 15 and it was the summer going to 10th grade, i had a guy i have been " talking" to for 3 months. We met one night he randomly kissed me at a party and we hit it off. We took things really slow , i was young i didnt know what i was doing. He was 17 and he went to a whole different school then me, his highschools about half hour away, and he also lived half hour away. we tried our best to hang out even if he lives far and he waisted his gas on me. We hit it off and were great for a month, we only made out at this point. Towards the 2nd month we fought so much, we ended it 3939048x and i still went back to him and i cheated on him and he cheated on me we were just unhealthy. We made up towards the 3rd month, i thought i was in love, i thought this is it. I kept me and my "physical" life with him a secret from my friends. we only did little fooling around because we were together. We never called eachother girlfriend or boyfriend because i was afraid of commitment back then. He understood.I thought he was the one, i never thought ill ever have sex with him i was only 15. I believed he was going to stay by myside and never leave me, he understood me more then anyone else has, he can look at me and know if im sad or upset. We always went on group dates or partys so my friends can join in.

me and him got in this huge fight he texted this girl who showed me and it said " lets hang alone i miss you;)" he was in canada at the time and told me he couldnt text or call anyone or it'll cost money. I was so fired up. He then found out that i saw and made all these excuses he kept calling me anyway it would cost money, we fought forever that night, I was so broken hearted.

The night i lost my virginity was when i iqnored him for 3 stright days. Him and his sister just got home from canada and his parents are still there and they have the whole house to themselves. I was about to leave to go out to dinner with my family when my bestfriend hanna was outside. I was wearing my short dress and heels because i was suppose to go to a fancy dinner. My parents then went ahead to dinner with out me because hanna randomly showed up she told me that i need to stay outside for a secondbecause something big about to happen. then my guy came with flowers and a box of chocolate and blasted our favorite song , he was leanign on his car with his other bestfriend in his car. " he picked me up and we went to get those flowers together and chocolate, he really loves you" my friend whispered in my ear. I forgave him and we all went to get icecream. After the night he told me to go and sneak out, i was still ,mad at him i kept some distance because i wasnt going to give in all the way. I then said ill sneak out and hell pick me up around 12. I had basketball in the morning so i packed my clothes for me to go stright from his house to bball. He then picked me up and we went to his house (my parents never found out i snuck out) I thought he was having a party but instead noone was at his house not even his sister. He then picked me up and threw me in his bed. we started getting physical and then i pushed him away and started screaming, we were both a little drunk and really HIGH so it caught on to me. I was saying how could u do this to me i love you blah blah blah i mean i dont know how i thought we were in love because i am so young. But anyway he then started crying and appoligizing saying there just friends and he took me back to the bed and thats when i lost my virginity.

we kept talking for another 2 weeks but i ended it because we were going back to school and he and i barley hung out at the end of the summer,. he made no time for me and i herd rumors he had sex with another girl. I was devistated. i kept this secret until this year, i am 17 and one night i was so under the influence that i told my 2 bestfriends. He still trys talkign to me saying he still loved me. I just never been so hurt in my life for a guy to just move on after 2 weeks, it felt like a joke and i regret it but then if i say i regret it ill feel worse about myself then i already do.
crazyonex13 crazyonex13
18-21, F
May 14, 2012