Young Mistakes

I do not see myself as a ****, even though I have girls call me one very often. I do not know whether it is because they are jealous of the guy I lost my virginity too or because they do not understand the meaning of the word. I just wanted to experience different things.
The night i lost my virginity feel like I was way too young when I lost my virginity and feel immature when I do things like that with guys.
I was 15 when I lost my virginity, i had no idea that i would ever have lost it so young and regret that moment of passion so much. This was a classic moment that I am sure many girls will have experienced. It was the night of my birthday and I had snuck out to meet with my boyfriend of 3 months. I admired him so much, he was one of the best looking people I had set eyes on and the fact he had took the time to notice that I was alive made me the happiest person alive. He was the typical Heart breaker, popular, amazingly gorgeous, a bad boy but he understood me. I was full of adrenaline and willing to go anything to please him and make sure he knew I was crazy for him. He meant everything to me. When I arrived at his house we were sitting on his bed and I could see the outline of his face as he was talking to me. His voice made me think I was in heaven, I could have sat there and just listened to him. But he had different ideas, I can't blame this entirely on him, he made me feel like i was the only special girl and i wanted him so bad. The night was coming to an end, but before i left i gave him something that i can never have back. He took my innocence, i almost feel like that was my identity and i had fell into a trap that many other girls had. It was the rush of my teenage adrenaline and the pain was numbed by the feeling of guilt, i had done what i said i would never do. As i walked back to my house i felt like i was not worthy of going back to my familiar bed, hiding a secret from my brother, my parents and i knew i couldn't tell anyone, i went to a christian school if any of those girls found out that i was not a virgin i would have been an outcast. i waited for his call for a couple of weeks to hear his sweet voice tell me how beautiful i was to him. It never came, i walked around for the rest of the year with a heavy weight on my shoulders a darker shadow than usual following me. I would sir by my phone and wait for hours on end. I realised i had been played like a *****. A few months later i heard i had slept with the entire football team. He had told someone and now everyone knew what i had done. My mum and dad heard about the rumour and asked me was there any truth in it. I lied, lied to there faces and told them i had no idea why this was being said. I never knew this would happen to me. Well revenge is sweet, as i walked through the local shops i saw him with his friends they all stared at me so i walked over with my coke and tipped the drink over him and told him do you feel big? And walked away... With scars to show the pain i went through and the lessons I learnt. That was the stupid mistake I made. set I feel dirty still, and wish I could rip that year of my life out of my memories the three guys I slept with I wish I had never met them, I should have listened to my friends. I should not have been curious. I shouldn't have been young and stupid.
tutu8932 tutu8932
Dec 16, 2012