Shame And Self Hate

I have always been against abortion, when I was 15 I got pregnant and even though I knew my dad would hate me for embarrassing him by being pregnant at such a young age and I didn't love the babies father, I kept her. Today she is a beautiful 4 year old. Well in June of this year I found out I was pregnant again, my boyfriend didn't want the baby and emotionally beat me into having an abortion. I hate myself now for doing it. I know I could do it on my own. I raised my first child when I was only 15 but I was weak and let someone bully me into something I am morally against. I made a choice and it's on my hands. There's no pain or guilt more painful then this.
SheWolf92 SheWolf92
22-25, F
2 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Check out Rachel's Vineyard and Project Rachel.

Focus your love on the one you have not the one you lost. It is very hard when you are pregnant and bullied into having an abortion. It happens to a lot of women. I know your pain and your guilt. Let go of the guilt and forgive yourself.It's not your fault. So many women get bullied, threatened and forced into having an abortion. You didn't have the wherewithal to stand up to him. All you can do is grow from this. There are post abortion groups that you may want to get into to get emotional support and help you deal with your pain.