I've always been quiet, rational, smart and never did anything inappropriate. At parties I've been the one sober (so I could videotape those who were drunk, ha ha!). Unfortunately (or fortunately) I've been very naiive as well (still am).

So there was once a get together at my place. I was about 20 years old or so. We were all friends from high school, since our graduate class consisted of 12 people only. We had lots of fun and next moment I see some unfamiliar people come in my apartment. OK, they were cool. I was in the crowd but not the spirit of it. There was a guy who obviously noticed me, but that was his business. Later he said that I seemed very different and interesting, not like everybody else. Well, nothing new here... He was nice and sorta cute, I think. We tried to talk, but the music was loud and all the people were talking around us too. So he suggested to take the conversation to the balcony.

Sure, let's go to the balcony and continue the convesation (we were talking something about my father). Yeah, right, what the hell was I thinking? I did plan to talk about my father, to answer his question, but he seemed to be interested in something else b/c he suggested me sitting on his lap. I refused and just sat on the chair right across his and continued talking. He then approached me suddenly and started kissing me with his tongue in my mouth and lots of saliva. As soon as I came to my senses from such shock, I pushed him away and went back to my apartment.

Since then, I've been having nightmares about different people kissing me and my mouth being full of some mucus or saliva or some goo, whatever it is. I then wake up with an impossibly gross feeling. Years have passed (I'm 25 now), but I still dream it occasionally. I guess the whole thing was just plain wrong, so wrong that my psyche is still damaged. Could I ever have thought it'd happen?

misasja misasja
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 5, 2007

So sad! I sympathize. :(

That sounds like a rather traumatic first kiss!