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Time to Move On?

I made a wrong decision that day.  To top it off, when I filed for the divorce I wrote the wrong date on the proof of service, so it was delayed...DUH!  My husband begged, I gave in(a total no no) and I said I would "consider counseling" ugh!  This is one of those times when I should have listened to my "gut" Freedom is on the horizon, I am getting a job, then, ADIOS!  I doubt I will marry again, I wasn't made strong enough for it, or am I too strong for him?  hmmm....

star13 star13 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 20, 2008

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Hi Star13,

Is it possible that the marriage was based on who you are not, rather than who you are?

Are your parents still married? If so are they happy?

My experience has been that when people get married they are only consumed with lust or want to escape their family. There is no way a marriage can survive if there is no respect for one another.

There is hope for the future. You have to know who you are first before you can begin to form any kind of lasting relationship with anyone.

I was married for 27 years. Six of them were in a suicidal depression. I finally left the marriage and it took me ten years to finally understand what would make marriage work for me.

I am now married again and have been for 20 years. Each year gets better.

Find yourself first, love who you are, and then write a specification for the person you want to share your life with. I did and it is fab.

Vicki

Having a really trying relationship is a really important time for personal growth and realizing what you want and need out of life and relationships. I wouldn't call it a blessing in disguise, but I would call it a very educational possibility.

I wouldn't say I regret my marriage. I think I regret not leaving 10 yrs ago.<br />
Maybe she would have woke up. Probably not! She would have just thrown one of her hissy fits and blamed it all on me again. Getting out of a bad marriage early is a good thing. <br />
I don't think I would marry again. It hurts too much.<br />
Good luck!

Never say never about marriage again. Especially after just one failed marriage. You just never know. Fate just may surprise you. Agreeing to see a marriage counselor was a mistake. I would as soon see a witch doctor. Do not make the same mistake and give into your STBX again.