How It Could Of Been

I regret so much in my life. I regret picking up drugs, not going back to school when I had the chance, living a lie for so long, blocking out the world for so long, not fighting back harder when it came to my mother beating me, and so much more. Everyday of my life think of how my life could of been like if I hadnt made the choices that I did. There is a chance that I really could be happy right now.. I am 19 years old and I feel like my life is a dead end. That all I ever will be is a peice of white trailor park trash, a little hood rat, and most of all an addict. I dont want my life to be like this, but everytime I think I am going some where in life I hit a brick wall.

At this point in my life, all my hopes and dreams are gone. I dont want a future at all. I am done all I want is to crawl into a hole and stay there till I ******* die. I become worse off everyday of my life. Everyday I feel like I am sinking lower and lower into a dark abyss that is filled with nothingness. I dont want a life anymore. I used to dream of the day that I would be in the arms of someone I loved, living in a happy home, a couple of kids maybe, but now I say **** everything I dont want **** out of life. All I want is to be emotionless...

**** life all together, and **** everyone!! I no longer give a fuckkk!
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
May 21, 2012