Stop Judging Me And What I Did !

At 13, I was pretty much focused on sex and sexuality partly because of hormones, partly because it was so heavy and emotionally prohibited in my home. Tell me no, and then that's ALL I want to do ! My parents had no sex life and sex was a heavy topic in the family just as I was coming of age.

So when the dormmaster in my hockey camp showed me interest and was open to sex and sexuality...BOOM I was there ! I was scared, true, because of the messages about how it was wrong or heavy or dangerous or whatever negative ideas were attached to being sexual, and I was inexperienced so naturally scared. but it was EXCITING..and the only thing on my mind.....

He wanted to spank my bare ***....I resisted at first, felt embarrassed, but then when it happened I really got into the sexual expression of it.... I went back for more! Some boys grow up to be men and look back and say they were ruined by this kind of contact....Why?

I am not sure I understand how an experience that was positive at the time can cause torture and pain later on in life. I suspect that the 'victimization' of kids is by society's judgements about what happened, which ultimately adds insult to the experience..... What do we say to a child who was stimulated by an adult, who liked it, who sought it out repeatedly until it we have tell them they were damaged victims...couldn't we just ask them as adults how they feel now and accept it if the answer is that they have happy memories of the attention paid and the pleasure felt ? If there were vciitmiized against their will, that is an entirely different matter, but for those like me who had fun....Back off !!! I say. In protecting children from unwanted or violent abuse, do we need to make all children into victims? How sad that children and later adults are made to feel guilty or conflicted by the judgements of others about what they did..or what happened to them . How hard it would be for an adult to come out now in the current 'witch hunt ' environment and say the sexual contact they had as kids was fun and they were involved in planning and doing it and keeping it secret, in cases where that was true.... Instead they are told they were victims, they were abused and now damaged forever.... what a pity.
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1 Response May 24, 2012

I experienced many of the things you describe.<br />
But a victim? Damaged goods? Certainly not. More a willing accessory - I loved it.