Unchecked RegretsWhen I was a little girl, I used to think life would be so much easier once I got older. Now that I am older, it seems like life just keeps getting harder and harder. Why is that? Can anyone tell me?
Is it because we realize that every choice we make is tied to a consequence? (A consequence that we might not fully understand for years to come) Is it because we realize life gets shorter with each day that we put behind us? Is it because we are still searching for those things that we believe will make us happy and we realize we aren’t any closer to finding them or being able to have them than we were 5, 10, or even 20 years ago? Is it simply because as children, we didn’t realize how truly carefree we were and even those small things seemed tantamount?
Or is it because we have regrets that we can’t put to rest? Regrets, that if left unchecked, can eat us alive and keep us from enjoying what goodness we do have in our lives. Regrets that are so tied to life choices and consequences that we can’t seem to move forward into our own futures, we can’t move backward for a ‘do-over’, so we end up being stuck in the same muddy rut year after year.
If it is those regrets…..how do we learn to let go and move forward? How can we find peace while we still have time to enjoy it? How do we learn to live with the knowledge that the decisions made in the folly of our youth are the ones that are now breaking our hearts today? How do we learn to forgive our own selves for being the ones, by our own foolish choices, that have caused us the most pain?
I ask these questions of you because I have one such regret. It seemed inconsequential at the time – years ago – but that is now literally tearing me apart and threatening to destroy all that is me.
If anyone really understands how to put those old regrets in their place to find peace and happiness, please tell me. I need to understand so I can begin to repair and move forward.
LadyBronte 46-50, F 7 Responses 0 Jun 1, 2010