What Else Is New?

Well once again i've relapsed after i've told myself a number of countless times that I would do my best to stay focused, and remain sober...so tired, and so sick that i've gotten to the point where I no longer make promises that i'm going to stay sober bcuz, there's always a fear of self-sabotage but, I guess for mines, and my family's sake I have to keep trying. I'm already to the point where i've become deathly allergic to alcohol, and whenever I drink I break out into a red rash all over my body, and my face ends up swelling up...It's a good thing my mother just bought me a book titled The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure...up until now that book has just been taking up space in the cabinet in my room but, i'm actually going read it, and see if it helps me come up with constructive ways to mantain my sobriety once and for all...i'm sick of living my life in fear, in fear of my inner demons overpowering me, in fear of self-sabotage, in fear of hurting myself, and others, in fear of relapse, and in fear of death. Wish me luck:)
Alan132 Alan132
22-25, M
1 Response May 20, 2012

it sound too me your really sick and tired off being sick and tired i feel very much the same godbless stay safe anne