I didn't self-injure for 3 years.
About a month ago now, I started again. There were a lot of stressful events around me at that time, and I can think of a million reasons why I did it, but the only reason I SI was because I chose to.

I could have chosen another coping strategy, but I went back to SI.
Its been a week since I last SI, because I told myself that I don't want to SI anymore.

It's very hard to ignore the cravings - but I know that this coping strategy is unhealthy.
I didn't tell my partner until yesterday. He was worried and a bit upset. We do live together, but he admitted he saw a little bit of SI and didn't know how to bring it up.
He told me I can call him anytime and provided support.

It's also hard telling people. I've told two people about my relapse, and to my surprise, they offered a lot of support. I may even be able to tell a doctor one day, but I'm not entirely ready right now.

It's been 8 days since the last day of my relapse, and despite the cravings, I feel pretty good. I know today will be stressful, so before the stress sets in I'm going to plan to de-stress afterward.

I honestly thought during the relapse that I failed, but it's made me actually understand why I did it and how I can prevent it from happening again. It wasn't a pleasant experience, but it was worthwhile.
Kneetar04 Kneetar04
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 17, 2014

You are not weak.
You have not lost this battle.
You are not selfish.
You are not out of control.
All the progress you made hasn’t magically disappeared.
You are not a failure.
Life is a cycle of highs and lows- good times are ahead, so keep going forward.
You matter.
I believe in you.