But Here's The Thing

In spite of my relative physical unattractiveness, in spite of the times I have hurt him, in spite of my many stupid mistakes -- in spite of all those and more, he treats me like a queen -- better, in that it is evident that he is thrilled when he can perform some task for me.  It wows me to see true commitment in action.

But here's the thing:

It doesn't make me feel queenly.  It makes me feel valuable, thereby helping me to be of value. 

He has taught me that a relationship is an opportunity of the highest degree -- that it is perhaps the best chance we can get to be of genuine service -- that by making a solemn oath to stand by a person, and to love and honor that person -- and then by honoring that oath with integrity, no matter what mistakes are in the past, one is building value and honor and love, valuable commodities for the world.

He helped me understand and appreciate the power and beauty and worth to be found in commitment.
nelladell nelladell
70+, F
6 Responses Jul 30, 2012

Perfection... I am thrilled by your insight. Rah-Rah! Lol. :-)

he he. You are such a dear.

Aww!! what a lovely definition of commitment.((Hugs))

Thank you.


That's nice. I don't think any solemn oath is necessary for the commitment to be genuine, but after all, the relationships that work are those where the partners share their essential beliefs.

i am presuming that you are saying that there is a decision to succeed.

Not just, it wouldn't be enough, you can't just decide to love someone! :)

Hmmm, I disagree, EW... You can decide to just love someone. Love can be a choice you make.

i understand your point. what i've found is that you can decide to treat a person as if you have love in your heart to give and that the love follows.

It works when it is reciprocated.

Sorry, this was just pointed out to me, so i'm late in responding. i am thinking you have had a sad experience or two, and i'm sorry about that, too -- and i understand your point of view.

I am lucky in that my experience (yes, I know what it's like to be kicked around, as it were) has taught me that there is no reciprocity needed when there is real love. It doesn't mean that one must live with an adulterer or with danger. It only means that one offers love -- that he keeps putting it out there -- no matter what.

3 More Responses

wow ... just wow ... thank you for the sharing ... the heart to hearts of vulnerable love

thanks for you unvarying kindness.

I really looked to find something I can belittle and laugh about.But no,this story has no flaws

I accept that as high praise. Thank you.