Bad Times

I remember that being the time I had my first relationship. Him having sex with me when I didn't want to. Him putting down my appearance. His posters of ***** stars on the walls. Him throwing me down on the bed and kicking me in the ribs because I pulled his fake hair. He had drinking problems. Once, he was in the bathroom, and he had thrown up in the sink. He had a toilet plunger and was touching the mirror with it and telling the demons he didn't want them around and to go away. He was 30, but was stuck in adolescence. I was scared to death of having sex for the first time. I put it off, and he told me it would make me more comfortable with my body(wtf).

That's why I hate that Suzanne Vega song "Tom's Diner". Because it was playing while we had sex even though we had broken up. I would let him in the house and it would happen because he would initiate and I would let him. Once, while we were doing it, I told him I hated him over and over and he said "no you don't but I did. I wasn't strong enough to make the break completely.

I remember once he screamed at me because I got out of the car first to go into a restaurant. ???

I went with my parents to the mall, and I came back to his house to find he had drank cough syrup from 1976 that he had found in a lady's house he was maintaining.

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Mar 5, 2010