twas the belonging, the hardship, the triumph, the longing and connection between he and I, at age 20 that i misconstrued as love once he said those words prematurely a few months in. completely baffled and awe struck, my eyes turned away, sure that i wasn't ready to give in and allow the three word phrase to escape me, as a result, "i love you" flung from my mouth, surprisingly and regretfully. "embrace it" i thought. "it happened for a reason and maybe i really do." sure now that i hadn't and never did, much confusion and chaos of our standing sprouted after this scrambled dialogue. this was my interpretation of remembering my first love, fake, yet an attempt to maybe try, but NOPE, i am incapable at this day and age and that's okay. i love god and my family, a network i am much in bliss and connection to and that will suffice. mr amazingly right will come when planned and i am ever preparing myself to be a loveable, kind, humble, feline ready to journey the jungle with my prince.