I remember back in late elementary and early middle school, when the girls would make lists, five people you'd marry, five cars you might have, five options for kids you might have, ad ridiculum, and then someone would randomly pick a number, and they'd go through the list, crossing off the nth item until only one remained from each category.

This was before I started having any crushes on celebrities or public figures, so I used names of people I knew, though in my head, there was only one.


Every time I played the game (I hung out with the gals because I didn't get along with guys then), I put her name in the list of people I'd marry, and every time, her name was the only one sitting there when it was done.

It happened so regularly that eventually I had to lie and say it was someone else I knew because they refused to put her name down, knowing how regularly it came up. And still her name came up.

After middle school (it was a private school) everyone I knew went their separate ways, and I wasn't close enough to anyone to really keep in touch. When I entered into college, I joined a new social networking website that, at the time, only accepted members who had college email addresses, and slowly found all the people I'd gone to that private school with. I found her too. She'd gotten into drugs, mixed with some bad crowds, and was no longer the cute sweet girl I remembered from middle school.

I didn't bother sending her any messages. She's not the person I developed a crush on all those years ago.
mononoaware mononoaware
26-30, M
Sep 16, 2012