My High School Sweetheart!

I remember two years in my high school years with a guy who I will call Jose, who I met in my sophomore year in high school. He was a Hispanic guy, small stature, great smile, great eyes, and he liked my light skin, brown eyes, and size 1 stature with long blonde hair.  I was enamoured with him!  We did everything together. We  had an opportunity to actually make love in a home he was taking care of, however, because of my upbringing I felt so guilty that I could not relax and let it happen. To this day I regret that I was not comfortable to do that with him!  I don't honestlyremember WHEN our first kiss was...long before we tried to make love; however, I remember when the cop showed up on Junior Prom Night out in the middle of the desert and interrupted us! 

Jose has been there through thick and thin, through two divorces. We had a lot of fun as very young adults. One of our initial dates was at the Antelope Valley Fair where he came to watch me do my tap dance routine..  As time has gone on, he has checked in with me approximately twice a year and has visited me on occasion with his lovely wife. He has remembered my birthday every year since he met me (over the last 30 years) with a card aor an email and I wonder why. I am embarrased to say that I dont remember his birthday although I know it is in September sometime and that he is a few months younger than I.. The memories fade after many years, however, the true love I felt never has! He is a wonderful person.. 

We both went our own ways after he asked me not to rush into things and wait until he completed college.  He didn't understand that  I had to get out of my home  because of a very abusive alcoholic mother as I had not shared that with him at that time. I married another person that same year and within a year gave birth to a son. I divorced his father after almost three years, married a couple years later  to a man I was married to for 21 years. I had two additonal children.

One's high school sweetheart plays a very important part in life. My high school sweetheart is a wonderful person and I am thankful for the times he has been in my life.

I have no regrets although every once in a while the thought comes into my mind,  What could have been?". I remind myself that I would not have the children I have if our rellationship worked out. However,  I will say that he is still a very important person in my life and if he had any idea how he has affected my life and thoughts, he would be surprised. I still love him to a degree as a true friend, I am thankful he is happily married and I respect the relationship between he and his wife .That doesn't mean, however, that I won't say he is"the bomb" though even  after all these years! He played a huge part in my life and I will always be very thankful to him for that. He has proved to be one of those people who is always there as a friend and that is the best anyone could ask for. Thanks Jose! You know who you are! ;;) 
LostADHDmom LostADHDmom
51-55, F
Jul 16, 2010