I Was 18.

He was 18, too. I knew he had experience with girls (my sources say he wasn't a virgin) and I had no experience at all with guys (I was convinced it would never happen). It was my freshman year at college and I was enjoying new friends and new freedoms. Ben was this guy that lived on the floor of my dorm whom I had hung out with a bit, but there wasn't much significant about him.

One night, my friend and I wanted to watch a movie so we went to see if Ben and his friend wanted to. They agreed to so we watched one. Everyone left, so it was just me and Ben in his bed. I told him I didn't want to leave so he let me stay. We were lying in the bed talking bout personal parts of our lives. Then we were going to sleep when he tried to kiss me (this was actually the second night he had tried to kiss me. The first night was at a party when he was drunk, so I wouldn't kiss him). I wouldn't for a few reasons then he eventually tried again. This time I just went with it. Partly I went with it because I felt bad for leading him on by staying the night, and partly because he was a guy who was actually attracted to me (and he wasn't all that bad of a guy). He kissed me softly and knew what he was doing. Meanwhile, I was clueless and it was pretty obvious. We made out and all that jazz (well, not ALL that jazz) for a while then went to sleep. It was kind of awkward now, which is what I was afraid of. I woke up in the morning before Ben and looked out the peep hole. Luckily none of our dormmates were up yet so I quietly left and sprinted to my room.

We didn't speak for about a week and for some reason I didn't have his number. It pretty much ended there and everything got awkward between us after that. I don't think anyone in the dorm knew about it; the only person I know knows who lived in the dorm with us is a friend I told a few months after it happened. A first kiss really doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't want it to be. It was a little disappointing that there were no sparks, but I wouldn't take it back. I'll always remember it and what was great about it was that he knew to kiss me places other than my lips, which was definitely a bonus for my first kiss/make out session. Trust me. Getting your first kiss when you're older means the guy may be more experienced and be able to give you a better time ;)
imjustthere imjustthere
Jul 28, 2012