My First Kiss: The Re-doI’ve spent the last 14 years believing my first kiss moment was done. That I got it over with at 13, and I don’t get a re-do. More recently, I’ve learned that this is not entirely accurate.
The concept of “my first kiss” is not as I thought… It is not about the first person I’ve ever kissed; it is about kissing THAT person the first time. The one that shakes the earth beneath your feet and the sky above your face; the one responsible for the long lasting smile across your lips, causing your cheeks to become sore. They are the one you’ve never had. They are new in so many ways, unfamiliar and maybe a little bit scary. But that does not lessen the desire, the urge. The need.
Today, at 27 years, I’m again contemplating my first kiss. Though the terrain looks familiar, Toto, we’re no longer in Kansas.
For the last three weeks, my thoughts are with that first kiss. What will it be like? How will it feel? Will the moment be right? Will I have the courage to be the one who makes the move? Can my heart actually break through my chest from beating so fast…So hard against my rib cage? Will my lips be dry? Will mouth taste stale? Will I be too nervous? I’d swear I was 15 again…
All of these years, a kiss appeared something so simple, something you did with ease, something that didn’t require a lot of thought on my part. Maybe I was not kissing the right people…
I’m good at this, right? I know what I’m doing…Right?
I can’t wait for our first kiss…I’m dreaming of it…And it’s coming. Promise.