How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?
I'm 23. I've loved and been in a relationship with one girl - the love of my life. She was my first love. We've been together 5 years - we've loved each other with all our hearts. I am not sure if anyone reading this would understand the sense of what happened with us, because none of my friends or family really understands it - sometimes I myself wonder if I was being too foolish or really wise. For 5 years we've had the most romantic of times - like the kind we would usually only read in books or watch in a movie, but along with it, we also had major downs that kept recurring. She was my world and there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. All I wanted was to do things that would make her smile even if it meant just acting like a clown sometimes.Believe me, her smile was indeed heavenly. However, somewhere down the road we went off-track...for the last 2 years of our relationship, we had more quarrels and each time a tear drop fell from her eyes.. I melted in it..to this day, it burns me that, whatever the reason was, I played a role in making her cry. I just couldn't stand it and after trying for nearly a year to change myself in whatever way I could to make myself somehow better and not give her another reason to be hurt, I realized I'd never be the kind of guy she wanted. I realized that either I'd feel miserable not being able to be myself or she'd be miserable being with a kind of guy she can't stand. So I took a stand and we broke up. Its been a year now. Yet, the love we shared was beyond our differences. Our break up was EXTREMELY hard on both of us. I know I still love her and every love song I hear is a song about her. I live every day of my life with a broken heart - knowing there is the one girl I will always love but we'd never be right for each other. I live with a broken heart - for I cannot stop loving her nor can I make her mine. I've tried moving on, forgetting her, leaving it behind as a closed chapter, repressing memories of her and denying my own feelings towards - and yet here I am, after 14 months of my last contact with her, still thinking about her, loving her and wishing things were different - I still have a broken heart. How do you mend a broken heart?