Maybe Someone Can Finally... Finally. Relate.

Ok, i know i'm young. And that i "don't know what i'm talking about." And that I "have my whole life ahead of me." But honestly, I'm just looking for someone to relate, or to offer advice. My first love was everything; my best friend, my boyfriend, and almost like family to me during tough times. But, unfortunately, the timing was horrible. We tried long distance, but after awhile he just wanted to not be tied down. And honestly, I can understand that. Fine. But since then, he hasn't spoken to me at all. At first he told me I was still his best friend, then he just cut me off completely. His family still loves me and acts like i'm one of their own, but i haven't seen him. The only time we spoke since the breakup 6 months ago, he called me because his own mother forced him to. And you know what he said? That he couldn't be my friend, and he couldn't talk to me. Sometimes, at its worst, I feel like I can't handle this at all. And the future just seems so incredibly long and, well, lonely. I could turn to him about anything, and now that absence is greatly felt. I've never felt so lonely and lost. I'm so afraid of the future, and yet I want it to come so badly so that maybe there will be light at the end of this tunnel. But for now, all i need is understanding. And major hope, which has been long gone for awhile now.
EmRose14 EmRose14
18-21, F
May 16, 2012