He Loved Me First

He lived next door to my cousin in a town far from my city. I spent my summer holidays there for years and nothing ever happened. It was the summer of 1993 that I will never forget. He was 18 and I was 14. We played cards and badminton a lot. And somehow I started to feel something different. I never felt this way before. One evening he invited me and my cousin to the cinema. We saw the film "Forever young" with Mel Gibson. Such a romantic movie. I wish my cousin wouldn't have been there...

He walked us home after it. The next thing I remember that I am with him in the flat of my cousin's family. I don't know how but at once I was sitting in the same chair as he. I was sitting on his lap. And then he kissed me. It was - what I really really regret - the second kiss of my life. But how different from the first one! If that was paradies then it was heaven. And the passion in it! I wished it would never end.

The best summer of my life. We were together and we kissed and kissed. But I had to go home. Oh the sorrow and the pain of goodbye! But he promised me to write and visit me. We saw each other not very often. Only once a month. But we were so happy. He taught me to kiss and hug and the power of stroking. How he could touch me. I was still a little girl and he was a man. Those beautiful green eyes.

We had another nice summer together and many meetings and goodbyes. I was crazy in love. I would have marry him  if he asked but he knew that I was too young for it. He just couldn't wait. The next summer didn't came for us two.

It was May 1995. I felt before that he had changed. His  letters were not that warm anymore. I never forget that he wrote to me that I hide my body like a treasure from him and that he could be a priest. I was not so far that I could have given him my treasure that a woman can only give once.

We sat in his car but we couldn't talk. He didn't say anything. I said a Shakespeare monologue, felt like talking to myself. When I finished, I asked him if he would say something but the answer was silence. I had to say goodbye but he should have did it.

Later I had to know the truth from my cousin: he had a girlfriend! They got happily married that summer. I will never forget how I felt when I saw them together.

Once he wrote to me that he loved me before I felt anything. He loved me but he didn't tell it.

This is my story. Nearly two years. I get to know love: it can be heaven and hell at the same time.
dreamygirl dreamygirl
31-35, F
Aug 21, 2007