is it love? is that the thing that keeps people like me to continue loving people even if they hurt us emotionally or physically? or is the thought of being alone? the illusion that we will be alone if our abusive and cheating love ones disappear in our lives? are we scared of the uncertainty of tomorrow? idk. but i guess i am scared that she'll be going away. maybe this is why i feel like i can forgive her. after what she did, there's no one out there that i can trust any more. it is quite interesting and depressing to i came up with the conclusion that i am a doormat all by myself. enlightening insight.