His Lost

I REMEMBER VIVIDLY MY FIRST PAINFUL BREAK UP. IT WAS NOT TOO LONG AGO. I GAVE MY HEART TO SOMEONE WHO DID NOT DESERVE IT. THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL, HOW HE REALLY FELT ABOUT ME. BUT I REFUSED TO SEE IT. HE SHOWERED ME DAILY WITH WORDS OF LOVE, BUT ALL THEY WERE, WERE EMPTY WORDS. EVERYTIME I GAVE HIM AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW ME HOW MUCH HE LOVED ME, HE DISAPPOINTED ME EACH TIME. YET I CONTINUED TO HOPE, THAT HE WOULD CHANGE. AND JUST MAYBE THE THINGS MY MIND WAS TELLING ME, WEREN’T TRUE. WHEN I FINALLY CAME TO THE FULLY REALIZATION THAT HE NEVER CARED ABOUT ME AND WAS JUST STRINGING ME ALONG. IT HURT SO MUCH.. I WAS DISTRAUGHT. I DID NOT WANT TO EAT, GO TO WORK, OR EVEN GO OUT. I CRIED UNTIL THERE WERE NO MORE TEARS IN ME. TRYING TO FORGET HIM WAS A USELESS EXERCISE. HIS IMAGE KEPT COMING INTO MY MIND. I KEPT TRYING TO REIGNITE WHAT I THOUGHT WE HAD, BUT EVENTUALLY BY HIS HALF HEARTED GESTURES TO RECONCILE, I FINALLY ACCEPTED THAT WE MEANT NOTHING TO ONE ANOTHER ANYMORE, IF INDEED WE EVER DID. THE ONLY WAY I MANAGED TO COPE, WAS TO TRY AND WEED THROUGH ALL THE LIES HE TOLD ME, SO THAT I COULD SEE HIM THE WAY HE TRULY WAS, NOT THE PICTURE THAT I HAD IN MY MIND. I WILL TRY AND KEEP MY EYES WIDE OPEN THE NEXT TIME, SOMEONE WANTS TO RUN A LINE ON ME.