I've been with my now ex-boyfriend for about 10 years ( on and off ). We broke up about 3 1/2 months ago. You would think that I would get use to breaking up since we've done it so many times. But it's never easy and this time is no exception . I think It hurts now more than ever this time around because deep down inside I know this is it . This time it's permanent . I keep telling myself that being apart is what's best , but I can't help but feel the urge to contact him and try to make it work ONE more time . I miss him so much , I miss us, I miss my best friend. The pain is almost unbearable. Some mornings I wake up feeling soooo empty , so unfulfilled. I know I probably sound crazy and even desperate but I can't help how I've been feeling . Sometimes I feel like the pain will never go away and I feel like I'll never get over him . My heart aches so badly :'( . How can I possibly put 10 years worth of memories behind me ? :( . I'm so lost and emotionally vulnerable .
According2Me According2Me
26-30, F
5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

I hate these too. I've went through the same! But I'm luckier... It's almost a year now... And I made the same decision u made on my birthday. People always say time is the best healer and stuff I guess it is but to me it's not... It's buried deep,deep,deep inside me cannot be dig back up even the person who buries it... All those memories, all those happiness, all the pain, and the sorrow cannot be replaced by anything! It's all kept inside me... I still can't get it over still feeling bad and horrible... :(

We all have insecurities and pain. Now I’m not trying to say we have to be depressed in our lives to think about things like this, but I know realistically we’ll have a think here and there and say to ourselves ‘oh don’t like that’ or ‘what if this was like this’.
Truthfully none of us are perfect, but the way we perceive ourselves is how others around us are going to perceive us as well. Yes all of us will go through tough times, thinking that life is against us, however why should it stop us living our own life the way we want to. No, we may not have a perfect body, perfect hair, perfect height, perfect skin, perfect personality but that’s because perfection doesn’t exist – perfection has so many definitions to many different people that it can’t be specified to be a singular thing.
We’re not stupid, we notice the smallest of things and some of us are so fragile to let it affect us so much, that we start to get use to it.

The reason I'm talking more towards the physicality of a person is because that’s what someone notices first before anything else, in any situation no matter what it is we’ll always pay attention to the physical stature of someone first even if it’s a glimpse, and I think that’s the reason why so many of us want to look good, make sure we smell nice, our hair is always fresh etc. It’s because we know that everywhere we go, people are always constantly looking and either admiring or degrading. But it’s those ideas that make questions arise such as - are we doing all these nice things to ourselves in order to please others? The clothes we buy, is that so others will see us in a limelight that we feel we’re not currently in? We shouldn't let ourselves change or modify in order to gain acceptance from others because searching for acceptance in others is acknowledging that our life is not our own. We’re here as social mammals, to make memories and have joy with others but not at the cost of our own self-belief.

Even though that I'm only 17 but I remembered my first breakup and it might sounds stupid for teenagers when they broke up but it actually also hurts. Maybe it hurts more in your situation but time really heals! Just hang in there :) I know you'll get through this.

Thank you :) take care of yourself too

I totally agree GranPaRoo!

Just remember things happen for a reason. If it was meant to be it will be. A few of us on here are going through the same thing. You are not alone in your pain. We will get through this!! One day at a time ! Hugs to you

I pray that I do get through this . It's hard letting go of someone who's been a major part of my life for 10 yrs :( . I guess I just need time to heal .

It's been 8 months for me and I've stopped crying every night So that's a plus! I still think about him everyday although that's sure to lessen - hopefully :) one day at a time- a friend told me "love is not a race- the right love is out there for you and it will find you when it needs to."

You'll appreciate the decision one day. Time heals all.