Bourbon And Meathooks

Now it all started when I joined a forum on the net for the town I live in. Basically a bunch of people in the town would get on the message board and post general crap for everyone to read and argue about, it was quite entertaining.

Now every so often, some fool would offer his/her abode up for a party where all the forum members would gather and write themselves off.

Now the biggest party I had ever been to was your basic run of the mill a few friends from school kind of thing, nothing major. So obviously I was rather excited and nervous as I had never actually met any of the people from the forum, just spoke to them as we do now, through messages on the net.

So I arrived at this place, not knowing what to expect in the slightest. Everyone was congregating in the backyard playing a game which is known as 'Goon of Fortune' (For those who don't know, Goon is cask wine, you just take the 'Goon bag' out of the box and drink straight from that). Goon of Fortune involves a rotating clothesline on which you peg the Goon bag to, then you swing clothesline around, and whoever the goon bag stops on has to skull from it. Gets you quite intoxicated, believe me. Until someone spins the clothesline too fast and the goon bag flies off and busts open on a rock.

But anyway, I'm getting sidetracked as one does. I obtained the services of someone over 18 (I was 16 at the time, legal drinking age in Australia is 18) to aquire me some alcholic beverages. They went and got me a six pack of woodstock bourbon and cola which I commenced ingesting right away. After about two cans I tired of carrying the rest so I managed to fit one in each pocket of my jeans (two pockets in front, two in back). Looked rather strange I assure you, but everyone just assumed I was wasted.

That's when I met her. Grace. How can I describe her . . . she was somewhat punk in attire. Red and black, lacey kind of things, knitting needles in her for some reason, quite strange when I think about it really but at the time I just thought . . . cool. She offered me the services of her backpack rather than carrying around cans in my pockets. I immediately accepted, much better comfort wise and gave me further opportunities to converse with this thoroughly awesome chick.

At a later point in the night, one of the cans had managed to get a tiny hold punctured in this side, so I decided to have fun with it. I ran around spraying it into people's mouths who wished it and then spray groups of people with bourbon, hehehe. Was quite entertaining. Then for some reason, Grace and found a little metal S hook used for like hanging up tools and things and went around looking for volunteers to be hung up on our 'meathook' with the enticing statement "Don't worry, there will only be a slight pain sensation, but it should end with death', very comforting (and strange) I know. The other weird thing, through the whole night Grace was stone sober as she doesn't drink.

Now after a fantastic night of scaring and weirding people out the time came for Grace to walk home. Now me being the gentlemen (and dead serious that's all it was, I wasn't expecting anything, perhaps a goodnight kiss at the door) I offered to walk her home. Now we eventually got there and to my surprise I was invited in. (Cue chorus of angels singing Hallelujah) Now me being actually sweet and innocent back then (I had done nothing more than making out at this stage) still had no idea what to expect.

Oh just out of interest, the night of the party was Friday the 13th and next day was Valentines Day. It was around midnight when this happened.

I followed her into her bedroom and she invited me to take a seat on her bed. We talked for a little bit and then me being somewhat enboldened wished her a Happy Valentine's Day and then kissed her.

Now I think you can guess what happened from here and frankly it's none of your business so I'll let your imagination work out the details, but just for your information it all went for about four hours, I was exhausted heh.

The next day we exchanged numbers and I went home. We actually dated for about 5 weeks and then it ended, but they were 5 very good weeks let me tell you.

Deyve Deyve
18-21, M
5 Responses Jul 20, 2006

Lovely story about your first time, Sir. Title first intrigued me. You're a very good writer and made this a fun and "intoxicating" read:)

Been away for a while . . . sorry.<br />
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@Sleepwalker: Ja, they sell almost mixed anything in cans over here in Oz, tis good stuff!<br />
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@Unicorn: She freaked out about commitment, same old story, not you it's me, blah blah, something like that, was a long long time ago.<br />
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@thewraith: None taken. She was. XD

Good story don't take offense that girl sounds hot

mh cool story, but why did you break up?

Great story, cheers! Wait... they sell whiskey and cokes premixed in cans? I wish they did that in the states... maybe they do... I've just never seen it.