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Too Young to No Any Better

Please bare with me.  I love a good story.

 

I was living in Gisborne, NZ at the time.  I was 12 and attending Gisborne Girls High School.  It was Febuary, the school year had just started and I was a fresh 3rd Former ( turd former to everyone else).  My elder sisiter was a year ahead of me and attending the same school so I quickly attached myself to her group of friends, some of them were my cousins too, and began the very uncomfortable transition of getting used to a new school, people, teachers and town. 

Through a friend I made in my maori studies class, Nadia, I met her cousin.  He didn't attend school, he was at the time 17 or 18.  His name was Brenton.  I went all gooey everytime I saw him.  He would come to the school and give Nadia money for lunch or they'd come and smoke a joint or whatever.. (first time I ever heard of Pot).  She introduced us and even though I was so young, we took a fancy to eachother.  Well, I thought he was sexy as hell.  Tall, slim but nicely toned body, great abs, piercing green eyes, georgous smile!  Yeah, I was totally hooked on this guy.

As the days went by we got quite close.  I would wag school and go to his house or Nadias and just hang out.  We got very hot and heavy with eachother on a regular basis, but he knew I hadn't had sex before and was sweet with not taking it any further.  If we weren't making out then we were either reading to eachother or going for walks, or I was at school, lol.

Now, to go to this school my sister and I had to move from Wellington to Gisborne to live our Nana.  So mum and dad were in 8 hours away by car and well, with that kind of freedom I suppose I let it get to me.  I turned into someone I never thought I'd become.  In the 2-3 weeks I had been going out with Brenton I changed.  I didn't just miss classes, I wagged days of school.  I was disrespectful to my nana and just kind of a real *****. 

A day before my birthday my nana and I had a huge fight and she called my parents and told them she didn't want me anymore.  I got the growling of a lifetime and a good old smack when nana told me the school had rung and explained that I'd been wagging and they were worried about me because I was seeing someone from outside the school and older then me.  My parents were eally angry, my dad mostly.  He said he was driving up to Gisborne in the weekend and we were coming back to Wellington. 

I was devastated.  I'd fallen in love (so I thought) with this great guy and now I had to leave him.  And there was no way in hell my parents would ever let me back to visit nana in gisborne after what a cow I had been.  When I told Brenton he actually shed some tears, lol.  Nadia had been so helpful in my relationship with him I really felt like she had become part of my family.  I was going to miss them both incredibly. 

On the Thursday was my birthday.  I turned 13.  It was the worst birthday ever.  Nana said a quiet happy birthday to me.  My sis was nicer as was my cousins.  But it just felt empty.  I only 2 days to go before I left Gisborne for good.  After school I stopped my Brentons to see him.  To my suprise he had a present for me.  It was a weaved bracelet he and Nadia made for me.  I was totally overwhelmed I actually started to cry.  He just held me and told me over and over again that he loved me and didn't want me to leave. 

On the Friday, my last day there I had made my decision.  I wasn't going school.  If I had to leave Sunday morning, (my dad would be here Saturday afternoon) I wasn't going back a virgin.  I went straight to Nadias and found her and Brenton having a joint watching TV.  He looked so sad when he saw me.  Nadia told us that she was going to go out for a while to let us have some privacy.

It was really nice.  We made out more heavily then we ever had.  But he was also very very gentle and took things very slowly.  But when the 'act' finally came I was a total nervous wreck.  When he tried to 'break me in' it hurt like hell.  He was very slow about it though trying to make it as painless as he could, but it still hurt.  When he was finally all the way in I lost all thought of it being special and romantic.  I just wanted out, lol.  The whole 'act' didn't take long, lmao.  He finished off quite quickly and I was just lying there thinking this is not what I expected it to be.  I had been thinking about this moment for a long long time, I expected fireworks and fanfare, but it was just painful and a huge..... let down.  Lmao.

We fell asleep for a while after that and then I had to make my way home.  We had a final making out session afterwards though, not leading to sex this time.

The next day my dad arrived and the day after that I was packed in the car and shipped back to Wellington.  I had lived in Gisborne for only a month.  I never saw Brenton again.

A few years later I heard he had gotten drunk and stoned and drove his car into a brick wall and died instantly.

I know, I was only 13.  What did I know about sex and the feeling that went along with it?  Well, I knew nothing.. haha.  Sometimes I wished I had waited.

But it was my first time and something I'll always treasure. 

Maqi Maqi 26-30, F 4 Responses May 4, 2009

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wow i am sorry that he died n atleast you found the right person to have it with and hopefully i will too

thanks luv. Sometimes I get very into some of the stories I write. I can remember everything so vividly. I do want to be a writer after all :)

Yeah, I suppose you're right. I could have been much worse.

You should treasure it, i mean, it rarely feels perfect the first time and at least you didn't find some ***hole like some of us...