I'm Stuck In My Last LifeProbably around a year ago I kind of learned what I believe may be my most recent past life. I was just sitting around and something triggered it and it like all came to me at once. I believe I was born sometime in the 1940s here in America, but I might have been born in England because a lot of my memories have to do with being in England. I was a woman, and in at least the first half of my life I was a very social person. A lot of my memories come from overwhelming deja vu I feel when I listen to music or watch video footage of the time, I can remember being places and seeing people and certain sensations. I can even remember the scent of some people and what it feels like to touch or hug them.
At some point during my life I experienced some sort of tragedy or heartache. I feel like it was a heartbreak, something involving a lover or significant other of some sort. From this hard time in my life I removed myself from all of my friends and my social life.
My most vivid memory is the memory of my death. I was in a hospital or something similar, it isn't my own home. The walls were dark and the curtains were always closed. There was a picture on the wall, I think the picture is of Jesus, it's definitely someone biblical. Early on in my present life I can recall seeing the same picture in my own home or the home of someone close to me, I was very, very young but the memory has always stuck with me as something very unsettling. I know that it was not my natural time to die. I sense that my age was probably about 48 or 49. I was suffering from a very heavy illness at the time and could do nothing but lay in bed. During the whole time I was sick I did not receive any visitors and I died alone.
My current problem is my inability to move on from this last life. I keep holding onto something and I can't let go. I'm antisocial, I can't relate to anyone my own age, I view anything from this time as unpleasant, and I have a terrible, irrational fear of dying alone now at the age of 18. I want to let go. I need to move on, but I don't know how.
Has anyone ever had a similar experience? Is there any way to move on?
bizzyhails 18-21, F 5 Responses 1 Jun 30, 2012