I Failed Them

I started remembering bits of my past life a few years past... I lived in Romania. I was young and happily married to a wonderful man named Shane, and we had a young boy named Ethan. He was about 8. Ethan has dark hair, unkept as any boy would have it, dark green eyes and freckles. He was my everything. I do not remember as much as I want about my Shane... just little glimpses.

My first memory was all of us outside of our home, around a small fountain, Ethan ran towards me and into my arms, I swung him playfully around and then held him in my arms. Shane came up and embraces both of us, kisses Ethan on the head, Ethan giggles, and then Shane kisses me. That was the first, happy memory. I was so unbelievably happy. My only happy memory after that....

All I can remember is it started in a barn... I was running around a corner because I heard Shane and Ethan. Shane's anger and desperation, Ethan's fear. When I made it around the corner I saw Ethan and Shane being forced to walk forward, Shane's hands were tied, as were Ethan's. Both of them were dirty, bruised... my Ethan had a long cut under his left eye. Ethan screams for me...tries to reach out for my help. Shane looks even more so frightened, for me. Before I am granted the time to attempt help, I am bashed over the head by something. As I black out all I can hear are Ethan's crying and Shane trying to calm him. The next thing that I remember is waking up on the dusty floor of a small room. The room seemed to be for storing things because tables and chairs were stacked up in the corner. Smoke is everywhere. For a few seconds I cannot hear anything, but the moment I get my hearing back the worst sound reaches my ears. I can hear Ethan screaming, crying... and Shane holding back screams of his own... I remember banging up against the wooden door of the room, trying to have it open. I hit it so hard that it cut the sides of my hands.... the memory is filled with the smell of smoke, tears, blood, and fear. I had to get to them, to save them. I cannot remember how long I tried to get out.... though it felt like hours. I remember nothing past that other than being outside of the barn, watching it burn.

My next memory is me in my kitchen.... with a noose around my neck. That is how that life ended.... my arms still ache to hold my Ethan.... my soul bleeds to see Shane. The past life I experienced is a real as the one I am living now... now all I can do is search to the ends of the earth to find Shane.... so that I can hold Ethan once more...
LillionaBeleren LillionaBeleren
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 24, 2012

Souls are bonded by love which means one of your close friends or relatives may be Ethan in a new life. Have you felt that with anyone? Or maybe when when you have a child, it will be him returned. We are still bonded with souls, even on the other side.