Feeling Strongly At Home In A Different CountryI am very glad to have found this group and read stories similar to mine, which makes me believe even more that I'm not abnormal. I never used to believe in reincarnation, being raised a Christian, but several times I've been briefly open to the idea because of some strong deja vu feelings and images of things I haven't experienced before and me demonstrating knowledge that I could not possibly know. Only recently when I was talking with a buddhist friend about reincarnation, and she mentioning stories about small kids remembering things from before they were born, I recalled something I had told my mother once when I was a kid: "Before I was born, I was able to choose if I wanted to be a boy or a girl. I chose to be a girl." My mother had then told me it was impossible, but my friend actually got goosebumps from what I told her.
After researching about past lives on the net, I found that lots of people have remembered their past lives, which finally turned me into a believer. And believing it finally explained the really strange things about me I have been puzzled with for many years.
First of all, I'm born in Norway from one Norwegian and one Filipino parent. Yet, I don't feel at home in any of these two countries. I feel at home in Hong Kong. It sounds really strange, but it's true. Ever since I can remember, I always felt lost and away from "home". As I grew older, I went traveling to different places of the world to be able to find the place I would feel at home. I used to feel more at home in the Philippines, but it was lacking so many things that I couldn't explain. For some reason, I started listening to some vintage HK music on the internet, and I got inexplicable warm, loving and nostalgic feelings. When I first spent time in Hong Kong, I felt strong attachment to the location, people and culture. The personality of the people and the way of life deeply resonated with me. I started getting nostalgic images in my mind of life there in "older days". Sights on the street would make me have strong deja vu feelings from less modern days. It also helped a lot that the locals would mistake me for a local, ba
Later, for some reason I started studying Mandarin. But actually I wasn't that interested in Mandarin, I had much more interest in Cantonese! It felt so much easier for me to pronounce and it somehow sounded much more natural (though I know that most people find Cantonese very strange sounding!). I joined a program teaching English in Beijing, and while I was there I quickly learned to speak and read Mandarin. I loved the place, but wasn't as attached to it as with HK (as I quickly felt the difference going on a trip to HK from Beijing). I decided then that my biggest dream is to be able to live there. I started learning Cantonese by myself, and I was so surprised in how fast and easily I learned it! In just a couple of weeks I had picked up hundreds of words and was beginning to understand my Cantonese speaking movies. It truly felt as if I had known it before, and that I was now just re-remembering it. While on the other hand, I still struggled with the Filipino language, despite having heard it all the time while growing up.
Since then, I've seemed to be obsessed with HK culture, but still trying to hide it from people around me in case they thought I had lost my mind, thinking I'm something that I'm not. I was always wondering what was the reason why I genuinely felt as if I was a HK person, and whether my Filipino family has Chinese blood or not. I was embarrassed to let my mother see just how interested I was, but I wanted to share my interest with someone (and the two of us are close friends). I showed her HK movies and music, and she resonated with it a bit, being Filipino (of course not as much as me), and could understand why I would like the culture.
Earlier this week, after my conversation with my friend and researching past lives online, I came across a guided past life regression session online. I decided to just try it and see whether I would see anything or not. As expected, I saw myself as a man in HK in the beginning of the 20th century. I was scared of remembering something dramatic, but I actually just remembered a calm and happy life filled with lots of people and a warm community. But I distinctly remembered being very patriotic and secretly working against the British rule (which maybe is the reason why I have some ill feelings towards the British in this life?). That explained why while growing up I was always feeling lonely and wanting to "go back home". It also explained why I at times used to have issues with being a female.
Now I want to explore more about my "true self", and I will not dismiss it as some weird obsession, and only be the kind of person that others expect me to be ba
I hope my story resonates with other people who also feel like they belong to another place in this world and might have lived there in a previous life. The very best thing one can do is to go and visit the place and to get the feel of it!
tsuion 26-30 5 Responses 4 Dec 17, 2012