A Dark Experience For My Soul

The story does not involve concrete and solid evidence of the paranormal or the demonic. I firmly believe you experience (evil) through the senses, not necessarily that which is physical.
One night, out of curiousity, I started reading on the web a book that claimed to belong to Satanists. I had no intention of casting spells or following what it taught readers. Still, even as I was simply reading it, I started feeling something. It was invigorating, as if a powerful mood enhancing drug was in my system. If it makes any sense, I started feeling a sense of arrogance, a sense of immense well being, and power. It overtook me completely. Not understanding what was happening to me spiritually, I succumbed to an enjoyable sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, a feeling of intense, hysterical dismay possessed me. I did not know what was going on. I felt hysterical, upset, lost, a sense of profound grief abandonment and loneliness. I felt anxious. I felt my soul was screaming. I remembered what I had been reading the night before and took a moment to gather my thoughts and feelings. Afterwards, I felt I had gone through a huge emotional beating. It was a real experience, one all should stay away from. It can truly destroy a person's spirit and sanity.


shaandar shaandar
31-35, F
6 Responses Nov 19, 2010

Its easy to see how certain types of people could get sucked into that.. and in a way the experience itself is at least a type of confirmation for yourself... although one that cost you.

wow...i know what you mean the power that comes from such a book can be intoxicating....it sounds like you were touched ...i mean i think maybe some dark entitie might have reached in you and touched something...dark enities can leave such feelings and emotional scars. im sorry that happened to you.

thanks for the warning/reminder.

Interesting. I've read a few books on the occult, demonolgy encyclopedias, Simon's Grimoire, I even have 2 copies of the supposed Necronomicon and the stories of Abdul Alhazred (which I know is total fiction). I've never felt anything other than just a curiosity. I've never experienced anything supernatural or paranormal. I would like to though. It's something that I think would bring me closer to God if I could experience known examples of the Beyond. But maybe only certain people can. I've seen video clips and such, but never anything personal with my own eyes.

Just an observation I'd like to make if I may. I believe that the purpose of spiritual interaction serves to do a number of things, but I would like to point out two things in particular. If you experiencing the dark forces of spirituality would bring you closer to God, the dark forces will not manifest. Why? Because they do not want you to draw closer to God. But if you are afraid of these dark forces and you have some awareness of their presence, they will mess with you in an attempt to scare you and shake whatever beliefs you have. In my opinion, the only power they have is the power you give them. You and i have free will, they try to manipulate that will in different ways. They learn about you and find ways to manipulate you. So darkness will manifest itself in ways which will affect you in a negative way. They will not manifest if their manifestation will make you stronger. This may sound crazy but they tried "bothering" me when I was younger but I always seemed to overcome them. They will try to kick your *** in the spiritual realm, but you have to learn how best to deal with that. Sometimes they manifest themselves in very subtle ways, through people speaking negatively to you. Whatever they can do to influence you in a negative manner they will do. But if seeing them will draw you closer to God, believe me, they will not show up. Best bet is to ask God, whoever God is, to reveal "himself" to you. That's just what I think though, speaking from my personal experience. I am not religious by the way, just spiritual. I used to be though. Good luck on your journey.

Well, I definitely won't be reading that! I got chills just reading your desc<x>ription.

If I remember correctly, The Black Book of Satan