Nearing the End of My Marriage

At the moment I try to sleep on the sofa & will do anything to avoid my husband.I literally cannot bear to be touched & I 100% do not want sex.This is a HUGE problem as he cannot keep his hands off me & always wants a cuddle which always leads him to sex.Even if I say no he will still carry on which is making me hate him.We have been married for 5 years & have no children.I had a miscarriage 3 years ago & since that day my husband has never ********** inside me.He says we cannot afford a baby.Money is at the root of the problem..since we got together he has never given me nearly enough money just to cover bills & food.We split up about 5 months ago for 6 wks & I stupidly took him back.He has promised to change but its getting worse than before.He give me max £ 80 a week & generally less & some weeks £20.My monthly bills are £1400 before food.I used to love sex but now I hate it with a passion.I an seriously considering telling him its over....its hard as he continually tells me he loves me....but even this no longer affects me.I am in major debt due to years of using credit cards to pay rent etc when he wasnt working... & I feel its never going to get better.I am 41 ,depressed & think life is too short for this.9I used to be a very happy optimistic energetic  person...I miss her.Even my brother said the same thing to me this week.I have to do something soon.I have been seriously drinking too much wine to blot it all out but this is not the answer.........

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Chinchillagirl Chinchillagirl
41-45
1 Response Feb 14, 2009

Hey - I have been where you are almost to the exact same details. My husband wouldn't want me near him and sex was not an option. He didn't want to cuddle, etc. <br />
You deserve to find the missing person you were. YOU deserve that much. You do not have to give yourself up to live - remember that always. My family told me for an entire year that I was not myself before I found the courage to leave. Looking back - I gave up SO MUCH. <br />
Only you will know what decision is right for you. I can understand trying to blot this out - I even made a commitment to stay in the marriage as 'partners' just for our son. But in the end - I could not do this. <br />
Please contact me if you ever need to talk - believe me - I've been there.