Resentment? Gay? Questions, Questions, Questions!

I have been with my fiance` for 11 years now.
We have been together since I was 18 & he 19.
We have 2 beautiful girls together. 

I dont know if its that "itch" that a person gets after they have been in a relationship for a really really long time. 
How do I know if its resentment or that I have fallen out of love with him. 
No, I know that I will always love him. 
He loves me. I know he does. He still wants to have SEX with me. But I can not even stand to look at myself in the mirror. He acts like a Pit Bull with his lipstick hanging out for ME and I could give two sheets about having sex with him. 

He is controlling. He tries to deny it. He tells people "I tell her to go out all the time" but in reality when I do have plans that do not include him, he makes me FEEL like SHEET. He can deny it all he wants but he does. And it ruins my time out with my friends. 

I have been working since 6 weeks after having our 1st daughter. I get paid good money, but I have SHOW UP for work DAILY to get paid and to keep my GRRRRRREAT job. And I WORK MIDNIGHTS!
He "runs" his own business. I use words like "runs" and "own business" loosely. 
Since he is his OWN boss, he stays up all hours of the night. Usually smoking weed and playing video games. Then he sleeps in until 1pm and then "works" for about 2 maybe 3 hrs TOPS! WTF! 
All I ask is that he help with bits of chores around the house, nothing major. Just help me with the dishes. Take out the trash. Maybe even vacuum once week, HELP ME THE FREAK OUT! 

I feel a little better. But just a little.

On top of all of this resentment I have building up, I am starting to face the fact that I have feelings for woman. 
iSecretTreasure iSecretTreasure
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 15, 2010

I laughed at the lipstick thing.<br />
Girl, go look at yourself naked and appreciate everything about yourself, even the lumps and bumps. Then make sure what you put into your body is good for you, not just something that makes you feel good. I totally know what you're talking about because I'm in the process of dropping some weight. But you are who you are and there is NOTHING to hate.

You need to get okay with yourself. The key line in your whole story is "I can not even stand to look at myself in the mirror." You need to make time for yourself. A diet, a gym membership. And if things don't get cleaned they don't get cleaned. And, as for those feelings for a woman? Well, I think thats a back lash against your male partner. You imagine that a woman would be exactly all the things he is not for you. Not always true. Not all women of Goddess' of cleanliness and empathy and not all men are lazy slobs.