He Won't Listen

My husband doesn't usually listen to me.  I tell him what I like, what turns me on... and he's too wrapped up in his own insecurity to pay attention to anything other than his own feelings. 
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5 Responses Oct 12, 2006

Are we maried to the same man???? My husband loves to get his point accross but never wants to hear what I have to say.. and then he wonders why i dont talk to him about things. All i can say is do what works best for you

Have you read Men are from Mars women are from venus... it explains a bit how we differ from men especially regarding communication, im not really for these self help books but I guess it made sense. I dont think men in general think the way we do, they are not as compassionate and they dont nurture, maybe it will never change but I think at the end of the day its all about communication and that will have to be battled away and worked on, if it get really bad there is always a trial seperation to open eyes or good ol counselling. You ve mentioned his own insecurities and while its not your job to banish his insecurities you may have represented your needs in an accusing way without knowing it and he may get even more insecure? I wish you the best of luck... make sure you make your needs known even if you have to talk about it till the cows come home otherwise you will end up full of resentment and sour one day...

Some men are just selfish creatures, hoping that what you are telling them will just disappear, and they can go on with life as before. <br />
However, sometimes there is just a communication problem. Have you cried, accused? This is a turn-off.<br />
You might want to try using "I feel" statements instead of "You always." No one can argue with feelings. They are yours and must be addressed between two people in a relationship. Feelings may not make sense, but they are there nevertheless, and are important.

Tell him what you want and why but that it is not because of any inadequacy on his part