I'm Tired Of His Bullshit

I have been married for four yr, I should have known better. He was in the army when we got together, I was a single mmom of 2 boys working and supporting myself w car, house, the works. I (we) fell in love really quickly and I got preg. I had no idea what a jackass he was getting chaptered out of the army for going awol. He says he wanted out and told his 1SG that...how can you care about me and our baby if you have no way to support us. Well this trend of loserdom has continued ever since. I quit my job before he got out of the army b/c of some personal issues and it was so hard to find work. I lost my house and car and we had to move in w my parents. From there we have had 2 apts we got evicted from, and ever since I have been taking on the resp mostly alone. He worked for maybe 7 months and quit... Not to mention it progressed to him smoking weed everyday, not working, calling me awful names like the c word etc, spitting in my face, physical abuse...I have gone to jail and so has he. Our fights have been insane. Well he went to prison for 1 1/2 yrs and got out a few months ago and I took him back. He isn't getting violent physically but he has resorted to name calling again, he tells my daughter to call me a ***** etc,  when he gets angry, he thinks it's funny. I can't believe it. I work he doesn't (has been this way for years) and we have 3 kids to support I am sinking and he can't save me. He complains about everything and I am wanting a divorce. I am so jealous of other women who have husb who work. I am envious and I hate it, I feel like we aren't building a life and I want to have a real marriage with someone so desperately I resent him for taking that from me...I am tired of thinking I am not good enough for this man whom I love to take care of me.
carlsenkilleen carlsenkilleen
Jan 27, 2011