How Do I Stop Being So Angry?I feel like I have to fill you all in... I have been married for 17 years and have two WONDERFUL children! I also have a husband who is ....., he is now unemployed for the 5th time in our marriage. To make matters worse, way back when we were engaged he took a job interview in a different town, he took this interview, more to get his word out then to actually take the job. We had talked about the possibility, but no firm plans were made to uproot our lives. To my surprise and horror the next morning I got into work (he and I worked for same company) a girl who was VERY interested in my husband informed me that he called her and told her he had taken the job!! I was engaged to him and he called her, it should have been a huge red flag, but I was young and naive and I loved him! So I picked up my whole life and moved to this small town. We were only going to be there a year before we get back home or even to a bigger city. I found myself pregnant. I freaked out because I knew no one here and was getting ready to be a first time mother! He promised me I could stay home and raise this child! Well that never happened, and even though I worked I also raised this child and the other that came along just 18 months later. We are also still in this little town!! Each time he gets unemployed, it is never his fault and it takes at least a year to get another job (right now it has been 11 months since he worked and has zero prospects on the horizon!) I search job engines for him and send him links only to be told iI don't want to apply to that type of job because it a basic job! I feel like he lost the right to be choosy when he lost his job! Meanwhile he sits around playing videogames (xbox, phone, facebook) and does not even help around the house! He tells me he is "applying" for jobs while at the computer each morning, but I honestly think he is surfing **** and playing Facebook and maybe throwing out a resume. Everytime I get on him, then I am just nagging and he tells me it makes him want to do even less! Each morning I get up and have to fight the urge to punch him, as he lies there sleeping and I get ready for work. Because of all the job loses our finances are in the toilet, and he blames me "because I didn't help him plan?!?!" It has even gotten to the point that I am the bad guy with him and the kids, because I am always yelling. I have threatened to leave and that just puts my kids in near hysterics?? I can't stay and deal with his lazy way any longer, I can't leave and break my kids hearts, and I can't be so angry it is killing me!
Eddysgirl 36-40 5 Responses 1 Jun 4, 2012