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I Resent My Husband

Lost Fairy Tale

By: Ellefaery
Written on February 13th, 2013
When I first met my husband he was in decent shape. I was genuinely attracted to him, although he never attracted other beautiful females. Perhaps my gaze is just incredibly lenient. I try hard to take care of myself, look decent ever day, and stay in shape. I have never weighed over 117 pounds. He on the other hand has gained over 100 pounds in the past 14 months and I am no longer attracted to him in any way... including sexually. I'm afraid to tell him this because he does the whole guilt/manipulation thing where he says "you're hurting my feelings" and acts like a wounded puppy. He is jobless, extremely overweight, lazy, and depressed. I feel as if I have to be the man in the house and do ALL of the work. I have to pull his teeth to get him to go anywhere and have to be in tears for him to help me with basic work around the house. He gets angry at me for not wanting to have sex with him. It's difficult having sex with a 200+ pound man when I only weigh 110 pounds myself. I don't want him to think that his new look is okay, but I don't want to destroy his esteem. I have talked to him about it for months. He says he will get better, but never does. All he does is sit in front of the tv, play video games, and eat. He has no real reason to be depressed. If either of us should be overweight, it should be me. I have had far more hardships than he has over the past few years, including the fact that he cheated on me over 10 times before we got married. Another reason I don't want to have sex with him is because I feel like I am with a child. I clean for him, tell him to check the mail, remind him to take showers, monitor his tv time, and babysit him during all of his angry outbursts. He is disgusting and I hate it so much! I feel miserable and I don't want any intimate contact with him. When I pushes for it and throws tantrums I'll do what he wants just to shut him up... it never lasts for long. Basically I'm with a fat, lazy, depressed, raging, childish husband. I am only 20 and we've only been married a few months... What to do??? Please help!
By: Ellefaery
Age: 22-25 , Female
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2 responses
  • Sugar1975
    Sugar1975

    I am sorry your having a hard time. It sounds like your husband is extrememly depressed. For whatever reason it may be, it maybe time for medical intervention. I know how hard it is to move, and take care of oneself when the depression is over whelming. If you have the strength to speak to him about the depression and he is still unwilling to co operate, then it will be time to look out for yourself and try to remember that you cant do it all yourself. He needs to want to be involved. Good luck

    Feb 23
    1 like
  • OhioSUfan
    OhioSUfan

    i don't know if you go to the gym or not, but i'd suggest the two of you getting 'fit' together. go to the gym with him. ask him to cook with you and cook some healthier meals, low sodium type stuff. and if he makes a mess, ask him kindly if he could pick up after himself. sit him down and tell him everything you're feeling. obviously you don't want to say 'honey, you're a fat, lazy ****' you just need to be like listen, we've both changed and i want our relationship to be the way it used to be. tell him you don't feel as if you're being supported or respected and talk it out. then suggest things to do together (ie, gym, cooking, cleaning house like i said before) and if he isn't willing to help, i suggest finding a new husband.. also, suggest marriage counseling. like i said, if he isn't willing to do anything, kick him to the curb. you don't deserve that bullshit!

    Feb 13
    1 like