My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and what a roller coaster it has been! Since our marriage he has been employed a total of 11 months while I have been busting my *** to make ends meet. I blame him for everything that is wrong in my life and often feel sorry for myself in my current situation. I find myself chronically upset and resentful towards him even when things are not that bad.
As I write, it is the Christmas season and while everyone is joyful, shopping, enjoying dinners out and spending time with family etc., here I sit hoping that I can make the mortgage payment. We both have Masters degrees, and while that is a great accomplishment, we both have massive student debts that the minimums aren't being met on.
I desperately want to have children! Now, any sane person would recognize that things need to change in order to bring another life into this world and I completely agree. But, I am not getting any younger and we already have to undergo IVF to make the dream of family a reality. We have gone through marriage counseling for over a year and while that seemed to improve things quite a bit, the problem still remains....MY HUSBAND IS STILL UNEMPLOYED!
I don't want to live with all of this resentment anymore. I should be thankful for my health and the fact that I do have a roof over my head and food to eat, but the fact that my husband is not pulling his weight is killing me!
I know that I am probably not the only one out there who is going through this but sometimes I just feel so isolated and alone. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!