Alcoholic Parent

My mom and dad separated and then divorced when I was little. As soon as they separated things started getting bad, and it only took a few years for her to become an alcoholic. That's what I grew up with. The constant sobbing at night while we were trying to sleep, opening up another can of beer or pouring another glass of wine. My sisters and I would be left at home alone while she went out to the bar. She even took my sister and I once and we played the video game at the bar with quarters while she got drunk. Then she drove us home, barely staying on the road. We were all crying hysterically--my sister and I terrified of getting driven off the road, while my mother was probably only crying because she was worried she'd get caught.
My siblings were smarter and got out of the house ASAP, but I stayed at home for the first 3 years of college to take care of her. I'd have to put her to bed like a child sometimes in the early hours of morning because she couldn't drag herself to bed. As a result I'm her "favorite" child, and she must have no idea how angry I am for having to grow up like that.

It was only this past Mother's Day that I really realized how much I resent her. Seeing all the gifts just for moms (usually pertaining to shopping or some other typical activity moms are supposed to like--but not mine). And all the damn cards! "Thanks for being the best mom ever! My best friend! Always there for me!" I couldn't send her a card like that, she was none of those things to me.

It's a damn miracle nobody found out and took all the kids away from her. And it's also a miracle all of her kids turned into successful, not-messed-up adults. Thanks for nothing, mom.
RapunzelTangledUp RapunzelTangledUp
26-30, F
May 24, 2012