Solid Foundation

I appreciate the qualities of honesty and integrity in the people I know and love.

I am very weary of manipulation and obfuscation .

Respect, that's what it means to be honest with someone. I respect you and you respect me when we are honest with each other and that is the only real foundation for any relationship. I have little patience for the facade that otherwise occurs so frequently it seems.

To trust is a great feeling. To know that you can count on someone to do and feel as they say they will is the rich stuff that good lives are made of. To guess and hope and wish for the truth is a disappointing road that will leave you sad.

I strive to respect those I choose to have a relationship with enough to be honest with them. Those closest to me appreciate that and reciprocate. Freedom is the reward, freedom from worry and doubt and the freedom to believe in someone, to really know someone and most importantly to trust someone.

It is true, in my experience, that most are not ready for honesty and have little understanding of real integrity. Those of us who value those qualities are often chastised and rejected by those who would rather just engage in the mental chess that goes along with building a facade, usually in the hope that we will think more of them. We suffer because we are not willing to feed our egos with the omissions and lies that are required to engage. We only suffer in the short term though as we get to look in the mirror and be proud of ourselves for holding these values and striving to meet them.

I applaud those who respect honesty and integrity. You have chosen the more difficult, but higher, road in my opinion. Your reward will come when you are alone, when you have to look inward and ask yourself who you are. You will have something real to give in any relationship and those who value real relationship will value you and their association with you. Perhaps more importantly, you will have the real ability to value yourself and to spend your time and energy on more important things than remembering and maintaining some false image.

I hope you are proud of yourself when you tell the truth and when you do the right thing. It is more rare than you think and says a lot about you.
WholeMan WholeMan
51-55, M
2 Responses Sep 28, 2010

I love what you said about most people not being ready for honesty. It leaves a lot of room for compassion, to think of them as just not there yet, instead of being injured by their underhandedness.

You're so right that it takes energy and concentration to maintain a false image. And dishonesty chips away at one's soul every time one lies to shore up that false picture. I wonder if ego-driven people do eventually lose track of where they leave off and where the lie begins.<br />
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This is beautifully written! Thanks.