I Still Honor Them

My parents weren't perfect. I didn't even know they loved me growing up.  It wasn't easy.  There was fighting, yelling, hitting, name calling, between every member of the family.  I am not sure where the love was.  It was pretty dark being at home.  I did the best I could to be as obedient as I was able.  As a teen I quietly rebelled.  I stayed away as much as I could and went to people who accepted me and loved me for myself.  I didn't do the typical drugs, smoking, drinking, etc.  I tried to keep myself pretty straight.  I had my faults, but they were ended as quickly as they started.  However, during that time, I really disrespected my parents.  I was hurt and angry, and I would tell anyone I could how angry they made me.  As I grew and matured, I realized that my behavior was unacceptable.  Disrespecting anyone is unacceptable.  Even for all the pain I had, they were still my parents.  

So for all the things I have said, and the actions I have taken, Mom, Dad, I am sorry.  I hope you forgive me.  I would love to make you proud of me.  I have always wanted that.  I have craved to hear those words from you since I was a little child.  Even if you're not capable, just that moment after dinner, the night before you left, was enough to make me feel that pride.  And for that I'm grateful. It made me feel your love for me, even if you're unable to express it.  I will, from now on, honor you.  
ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him
36-40, F
Dec 13, 2012