Sabotage Is Subconscious

Good to know that with 39 other people in this group I'm not the only self-sabotager.  It's something that took me a while to understand about myself.  I think it is subconscious b/c I don't go around telling myself that I don't want success or that I don't deserve it.  But there's been too many times that just as I start to get my life on track, something happens that throws me off.  Often it was drug or alcohol related.  I would go on a huge binge at a critical time in my life and it would spoil everything. 

Hopefully, I can avoid that now though.  I haven't had a drink in 3 months now so hopefully I can maintain that.  Alcohol certainly helped me sabotage myself b/c once I lost inhibition, I didn't care about anything.  As long as I'm sober though I care. 

ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton
41-45, M
1 Response May 16, 2007

Congratulations on being sober as well as getting a hold of the self-sabotage thing. I've found that I also did that on occasion in my life. Hang in there!