Fear of Failure, Perhaps?

all i have to do is make a phone call, put it in the mailbox, sign it, or whatever the case may be.  but i just don't do it.  why?

it's not as if i'm lazy.  it's not as if i want the additional stress to deal with.  it's not like i enjoy this.  but why?  why do i persist?

maybe it's to see if i can get exceptions made?  maybe it's to challenge others?  maybe i'm afraid of the outcome if i do put forth effort?  i simply don't know the answer.

finding motivation to change this horrifying and stressful habit is easy.  the motivation comes when things get stressful and i realize it's my fault.  but to actually change this???  HOW?  i simply have not been able to summons the strength or whatever it takes.

surely there's an emotional root to this.  perhaps a symptom of a chemical imbalance of some kind?  this is one of the few things i've not been able to 'WILL' myself to do differently.

does anyone know how to actually change this behaviour? 

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
3 Responses May 28, 2007

smebro - i spose i'm a bit of a gambler. i take that risk of the outcome possibly being negative. about 90% of the time i'm able to manipulate the situation into my favor but there are those times i simply can't make it happen no matter what i do. the ones i gamble with are generally of no GREAT consequence, however, it's added stress i certainly don't need. but in the end i don't regret the failures. ultimately they are a portion of what made me who i am. and i'm freakin' AWESOME ... in my humble opinion. lol however!!! when i get away with something it's as if it gives me license to push to the envelope further the next time. i suppose, after 4 years of reflection, i'm just a difficult person - to put it rather frankly and very simply. i don't think it's because i always want to challenge people or be challenging to them. that's not always my motivation and it certainly didn't start out that way. once i procrastinated and was able to maneuver through it, it's as if it got worse and worse. don't see it stopping any time soon as i found the 'maneuvering' to be rather fun. the bottom line is that i'm a procrastinator to the Nth degree. i need no motivation to wait until the 13th hour. i have noticed the period of procrastination seems to get longer and longer when i'm in a 'mood.' it's all really stupid and something i could prevent if i truly wanted to. i guess i don't want to...

As you said elsewhere Constant, we are similar in this regard. I have marked points in my life where certain choices would have me in other situations right now, like when I went to boarding school, when I chose my classes and crucial moments in ended friendships, or when I didn't fully apply to university to do that marketing and psychology course last year...these are all things I could have done differently...although in hindsight I do not regret my stubborn unwillingness to act, I am the result of those choices and there’s no point regretting it. I still put things off, jobs, phone calls, words for my novel, but I’m getting better at picking out my motivations behind procrastinations. It's only really sabotage if the outcome is bad and you knew it would be.

Yeah roughtly 2 years ago I went through the exact same phase. Through the persistence of my family egging me on and some personal inspiration I managed to kick myself up the backside and actually start doing something! What you need is an idea to inspire you...