What Would It Take.. How Much Can You?
On the brink of my sanity right now. Looking at the four walls that is my prison.. my room.. My life... I see myself dwindling in a existential quandary between this reality and the truth. It is painful to go through these things.. The doctors tell me there is nothing wrong with me. But how can that be when I have seizures, and tend to feel more pain than the average person. Drained constantly. I've been lost in a world that cannot understand, nor care about my condition. I know the minority is with us.. But sadly, I wish to live, thrive, and enjoy life. I can't do that from these four confining walls. Its suffocating... I need someone who is willing to hang out with me.. Someone I can get away from where I am and enjoy myself as well as socializing.. I want it.. I need it.. Despite the fact that my room mates have no clue who I am or where i come from. They could never understand. I keep drinking alcohol.. just to dull out the pain. Mind you I don't drink enough to leave me out of control. Just enough to take the edge off the pain. I've been working with top ramen with beef, chicken and shrimp to see if my craving will suffice. I smoke cigarettes to keep myself from losing it completely. This pain.. it's excruciating. I need someone to help. I need friends that understand. Is there anyone.. In Colorado... whether it be Denver, Aurora, Lakewood, North Glenn, Littleton, that understands what I'm talking about and can help? That can give me that peace of mind I need. That can extend a hand towards someone like me and be able to hang out?