I Fought For Him

my bro passed april '08... he was 34 he had a stroke sept '07... left him paralyzed on his left side. he had stopped taking his high blood pressure meds. our family is not the richest and money was an issue... he graduated w/his art degree but had a tough time supporting his wife & son. so he chose food on the table vs. taking care of himself, irresponsible. he had another stroke same month he passed. our family worked shifts he was never alone after that. it was my shift. i was sitting next to him alone when i noticed he stopped breathing. i kept calm walked to the nurse and told her she came and verified, called my family they rushed over they cried... i didnt, i didnt cry till his wake... i cried so hard i almost passed out... i remember his skin getting cold and his face lost color as we sat and waited for my family i felt my family needed strong support that week. he was my bro and my bff. i feel a huge hole in my heart now and i cant stop beating myself up.